Emerson

Well, it has a point. But you can't exactly make a story from only a point. Points usually are themes. Which does make this pointless--it does nothing for the reader. ...

I changed your title so it wasn't in all caps. :D Caps aren't nice! They hurt peoples eyes.

Poems go in the poetry section. ^_~ I shall move this there...

yes, the whole "book review" section is for this, as it is... I'll delete this if you wish? I'd rather not delete it and then you have no idea where ...

I can't pull the meaning out of this, and I can't even sort out the grammar.... What are you trying to get at? I think I like your poetry more ...

moved to Other Fiction

I think it's because "string beans" and "string beans" sound too similar Does anyone else not understand this...? XD Brad: I think I understood the line break (I think the ...

Stories don't go into writing tips, darling. ^_^ *moved to other fiction*

Melja noted the rhetorical question. Rhetorical questions aren't bad--I like it. Although, it might be safe to edit the words a bit, so that the second time, it is a ...

Heh, added the translation. It's a bit of fun on my part. The line is from a song by the group Enigma, where in both the song and in my ...

Moved to fanfic.

I think I'm going to move this over to fanfiction. Since it is fanficiton. :D

That's why I suggested you go with what you had in the third stanza. The world being rebuilt backwards is a fascinating image and a fascinating idea. Seconded! Even though ...

I liked this more, because at the end you brought back the girls. Their small feet skipping down the straight and narrow crest of moonlight, the night bleeding out upon ...

I like the last stanza, but true you could remove it and not lose anything. It has a nice message, but does it offer anything beyond that? If you're considering ...