Emerson

Hey there! So some small things that bothered me with this story was the fact that it was in present tense. I know that's a small complaint but present tense ...

Hey there! I haven't read any of the chapters before this one so my review might not be real helpful in some ways, but hopefully I'll still have some useful ...

Hey there! The Enigma is completely right. With dialogue, whenever someone new is talking you should start another paragraph. Also, keep in mind to organize your paragraphs not into giant ...

Agree with zigglefred - don't forget punctuation. It's incredibly important and only the best of poets can get away not using it without looking lazy. The lack of punctuation did ...

Hey there! Review time. :) I was a bit turned off by the way your poem turned into a soap box in the end so you likely may want to ...

So, absolutely loves that last line. Beautiful, delicious alliteration. However, I wasn't too big on the rest of the poem. I felt like every stanza was a new poem. There ...

Hey there! I adore the message/meaning you're trying to get across. The battle of pure innocence with hard life and broken souls. It's a great topic to discuss and your ...

Hey there! So, unlike Rosaline, I'm really bad with children's poetry so I'm going to review this like adult poetry. Because this is all I know and I'm mature like ...

Ooo yay for good poems. My turn to eat this up! *giggles* and I know who the above reviewer is! I love the way this poem comes together. At first ...

Hey there! I think the ultimate problem with this poem is that you're writing it to someone. You talk about this "you" but as the reader, I have no idea ...

Hey there! I'm here to review. :D Obviously. I agree with Retrodisco about the rhyming, sort of. I don't think it makes it boring but I do think it distracts. ...

Hey there! One big thing I noticed about this piece was the amount of typos, which meggwrites kindly picked up for you, but you should learn to read over your ...

Hey there! I'm here to give a review. :) Aren't zombies fun? Flesh eating things... They're pretty gory too. I liked this because you start with an interesting perspective from ...

Hey TRH! We talked yesterday in the chat so I thought I'd come by and take a look at your novel. :) One suggestion I can give you is to ...

Why hello there and welcome to YWS! I see this is your first post, thank you so much for gracing us with your writing. :) You certainly have talent! If ...