Emerson

Eimear already comments on capitalization so I won't even comment on it at all. This looks more like a playlist than a poem. It would have been cute had it ...

The rhyme scheme makes it too forced, such as the line with hieroglyphs. Writing a poem with rhymes is hard because you have to make it seem natural, and not ...

What are you trying to say here? I understand what you're trying to say - but it has no effect on me. Eimear correctly pointed out: show, don't tell. And ...

Like I said, I'm not sure what this is. I'm not sure what this is, either. Did you mean to post this in the lyrics section? Is it a song? ...

Hullo darling! I love reviewing your poetry. Curious: did you edit at all before posting, since it was old? The sharp end branches shook amber leaves away that year; but ...

While I completely love the message you're giving, it doesn't make a great poem. Have you heard the term "getting up on your soap box"? It means preaching to your ...

Hello there! This was a real cute idea. I second Eimear -- show more than you tell. Use less adjectives, and instead describe vividly. Keep in mind poetic elements like ...

The train [comma] with its granite-grey carriages [comma] rattled above as Luke strode down the pavement, his father’s hand steering him from behind. Graffiti whispered innuendos across the walls of

Hello there! I thought in return for not reviewing what you PMed me I would review this. I heard there was a God above And that his grace was great. ...

Hello! Sorry this took me a while to get to. The length scared me? But I really wanted to read it. ^_^ Instead [comma] she stared blankly at the stack ...

Hello! First I would like to welcome you to the YWS, because I haven't seen you around much and I'm not sure we've met! In any case, I am Suzanne. ...

Hello Sah. ^_^ I am taken by moments in time: This is an amazing first line, because of how it works with the rest of the poem. It's a first ...

Hello Ringo! Welcome to YWS as well. If you have any questions, or need help with something on the site, feel free to pm me. ^_~ Solace in religion she ...

Hello! First I would like to welcome you to YWS! If you have any questions about the site, or need help finding something, feel free to PM me. I'd just ...

As I said, I am going to analyze much more than critique. ^_^ but, I'll try to find something to pick at. When he kissed her, she tasted like salt. ...