Eliza:)

I enjoyed this piece. It wasn't what I was expecting. Usually something like this gets boring after a while, because of the lack of action and characters, but it kept ...

First of all, I want you to know that this is a good piece. I'm not sure how you're planning to make this into a novel, but it could make ...

While this is a good start, it isn't a short story. Your metaphors and similes are very good, but a story needs more. Each story should include characters, plot, and ...

Hi. I found your story, and for a beginner, it's very good. The plot is original, and the story moves along at a good pace. However, there are a few ...

The charred ruins of a forest flourishing with life only hours ago were all I could see other than that road. There should be a comma after see . There ...

Their muffled voices suddenly becoming apparent in the background as I slowly regained consciousness. Becoming should be became to stay in the same verb tense. I know you don't want ...

“I know that eggs used to come from chickens ” Adam thought to himself “but what the hell lays bacon?” Because Adam is talking about the past, lays should be ...

This building is surrounded, you have no chance. The comma after surrounded needs to be either a period or a semicolon. I know by exterminating it, the world will be ...

When she looked at me with bloodshot eyes, and opened her mouth to mutter words that only she could hear I knew I’d lost her. There should be a comma ...

There were no other kids at this place, there were only tall, scary adults. This is a run-on sentence. To fix it, the comma after place needs to either be ...

Throughout the story, you are changing verb tenses. It changes from past to present multiple times. The air in Easton always held a grey ambience of dull haze. A constant ...

"That's not possible, dude," said I . Said I sounds strange. You may want to change it to I said . "She has been dead for a month now. " ...

“Oh my god. “ The space between the period and the quotation mark needs to be deleted. “I laugh young Myria. There should be a comma after laugh. But in ...

This prologue is too short and has too much information to fit into one hundred words. This could easily be turned into a full-sized chapter. The problem is that you ...

I wasn't exactly sure if I should be excited or scared or even confused, for that matter. There should be commas after excited and scared . My heart pounded fiercely ...