Ego

Fun microcosm of an obviously larger world. I appreciate the alliteration of the names, but I feel like it actually distracted from the tale a bit. I like that the ...

I'm not going to lie, any deeper meaning of this was completely lost on me. That being said, I love the wording in the second stanza. While the first comes ...

Your pacing needs a ton of work. It's far too fast, and I don't mean fast in an action-packed way. You need to slow down, take your time, and let ...

...I think you missed the point entirely. 1) I'm not attacking you. I'm saying your piece needs work, because you aren't working with characters, but archetypes. You have a very ...

Flemmy I'm not quite sure what is meant by this. "A no-nonsense look that he had learned to know was covering her features"? A quick fix should help out. Changed. ...

If Monty was shot so many times, how is he able to lift children and run? Is this all apart of him being the hero? He's a superhero--his musculature becomes ...

Um... is this the Hart I think you're talking about? XD Duh. Grif! You need a character other than yourself :P

Those numbers aren't set in stone--there are often more than three squads to a platoon, especially in times of war, when units are often broken down and resorted due to ...

How ambiguous of you! I'll take your very arbitrary advice under careful consideration! Seriously, though--more specific? --D

It would be easily remedied if she just parked a block or two away--even just on the street outside the building would be fine, if other people parked there as ...

Ah, nostalgia. Thanks for the critique Medusa, though I have long since labeled myself a boldfaced "NOT A POET." Perhaps I shall revisit the poem for a bit of tweaking ...

Thanks a bunch for checking this out! Um, I know that a house may be condemned for safety reasons, but they can be hangout spots for bums and teens. I ...

I don't read bad books. I set them down and back away slowly. But seriously...I dunno. I've never really read a book I walked that I've walked away from with ...

Well... dont post anything like it again cuz its only funny the first time. It may only be funny the first time, but it's funny the first time for those ...

Aedomir--WTF stands for What The F***: the completely out there side of things that no one in their right mind should ever consider. Ever. Maybe. Kitty--suggestions? This was really the ...