DoctorDP

I have possibly told you this in person, so bear with me. You would be aided greatly by being aware of the format you've chosen. This reads like a passage ...

Your style had improved quite a bit between Part 2 and 3, which is kind of jarring despite the fact that I liked this chapter quite a bit. Also, there's ...

I can tell this is where you started to get comfortable. The plot thickens and the characters are starting to develop- slowly, as all good characters do. Trying to force ...

I definitely feel your passion for the subject matter, and you have some serious descriptive skills. You need to work on introducing characters- I didn't get a good sense of ...