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Re: [DELETED]
The essay is good overall, and lays out all the information, but there are some suggestions I would make. First I'd change 'basically parasitic' and take away the 'basically' and ...
Aug 21, 2019 -
Re: noise
This is a good story. I like the use of repetition at the beginning as chaya slowly moves further to to west, listening to the voices in her head tentatively, ...
May 26, 2019 -
Re: Fallen Soul-Prologue
This is a good opening to your story. It leaves questions in the reader's head look like 'who are these people?' Why is the tower on fire?' And 'Did the ...
May 22, 2019 -
Re: Servant of the White Sun - Chapter 3 - Shelter of the Sun
I really like the world you've crafted. The worldbuilding is developed enough to give the reader a good idea of the culture and history of the world, but doesn't overwhelm ...
Apr 28, 2019 -
Re: Marked Chapter III- Violet
This is an interesting followup to chapter one. The idea of having characters who are forced into taking up duties by the marks chosen for them at birth is definitely ...
Apr 28, 2019 -
Re: Grace
The overall story is good, I like a lot of the imagery used, and how you use the crow as a metaphor for death, and show Spike's natural fear of ...
Apr 28, 2019 -
Re: Foolishnesses
I really like this story. You used some beautiful imagery to really help the reader visualise the scene before them, and make the story come to life. I also liked ...
Apr 28, 2019 -
Re: The train station
This is an interesting story. Your descriptions are excellent, they really help make your world feel alive by giving even background characters personalities. It also set the tone, that this ...
Apr 25, 2019 -
Re: The Battlefield
This is really good! You gave excellent descriptions, especially in the first paragraph, that helped the reader visualise the scene before them, and put themselves in the soldier's position, capturing
Apr 22, 2019 -
Re: Do You Remember?
I liked this story. It did a good job hooking the reader, and keeping them interested throughout. As well as that, the overall plot was good, and the ending was ...
Apr 21, 2019 -
Re: Prisoner of Crime
This is a very well written story. It sets up Adams' feelings of fear and desperation very well in the first paragraph. I especially like the line 'The clay clung ...
Mar 27, 2019 -
Re: The black Ravens
In my opinion, this is quite a well written story for the most part. The use of personification, sensual writing, onomatopoeia and other techniques is excellent, they really aided the ...
Mar 25, 2019
