Demetri

So I'm under the impression that the main aspect of the story are these groups of people - the Kynsar's - who have attempted and succeeded to rule the world. ...

I liked this. It was light-hearted, subtle, happy and somewhat fluent. It's not ground-breaking, and I don't think that's what you were aiming for, either, and it's not going to ...

I thought this piece was definitely acceptable, but its main, overall problem is the transition. We're told things, but we don't know why, and we don't know why we're supposed ...

What I dislike about this piece is the clichéd consistency of it, and its inability to convey any sort of emotional impact into the reader. This is because it's so ...

i Your heart is so tied up caged behind a series of ivory; it makes me cringe to know I’m the same way. The introduction is weak. It lacks the ...