Demeter

Hey, Skins! So, the first thing I think of when I hear "My Immortal" is this . Luckily, your story was much better. I think you captured the actual emotion ...

Ahaha, Confetti. I love this. I laughed out loud at some points. A couple of notes: Never drive a flying car to Hogwarts and land in the womping willow… detention ...

Hey Princess! Haha! I love this! The idea is original, which alone makes this a pleasure to read, but it was also funny and sweet (literally). “Good afternoon, Mrs. Wallace,” ...

Hey Confetti, and welcome to YWS! :) Aw. This was sweet. I like these kind of stories that aren't packed with action, but instead consist of emotion, a character, and ...

Hi, MillieandMissy! Aw, a horse story! So cute! The first paragraph is a bit long. The beginnings are really important, because often when we look at a story, we read ...

Hi there, Monster! So, I'm supposing this is pretty much just a description, hence posted in Other? It could be a poem too, you know! Apparently you could've described it ...

Jojo! Ah, I loved this - such a genuine, heartfelt story. I'm very glad you wrote it. I really like the way you told the story - there's just the ...

Hi, Leeanna! At first when I was reading this I thought "Hmm, I've seen poems like this many times before", but when I got further I realised that this was ...

Hi, Anwesha! It's been a while since I reviewed poetry... I feel like I'm getting rusty. Outside my window it rained, While inside my heart it pained. I don't think ...

Hi, VuzzyCat! Aw, this was sweet. You obviously have a way with words. I kind of liked how we're thrown in the middle of the scene, without unnecessary explanations about ...

Hi, Crimson! What you have here is quite sweet. The ending and all the pondering could be very powerful, if I only knew more about the characters. That's a big ...

Hi there, Ben! Nitpicks: “They say she’s cursed, that Ms Moore,” the taxi driver groaned. Hmm, it might be just me, but I think it should be "Miss", since this ...

Hi, Empress! This seems like an interesting story, judging by the description and the "prologue" of the prologue (before all the dialogue starts)! I really liked the first eight "paragraphs" ...

Hi, Paul! You know what, when I was reading this, I forgot that I was reading a work posted on a young writers' site by an aspiring author. This seems ...

Hi Sarah! I hope you forgive me for not doing much other than nitpicks today. :) Tremulously the ground shakes. This sounds a bit Yoda-y... so maybe just move the ...