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Although you wanted me to review the second chapter in this story I decided to give you one piece of advice for this chapter. Remember I haven't read the second ...

Hey, I read through the entire thing and well, I don't want to critique it. The plot was simple, but elegant. You expressed the characters personalities very well, and the ...

It was good, but I think that you should have split it into two poems one obviously with all the Three things and one with all the Four things. Doesn't ...

Hi As a whole I really liked the piece. One thing I think you did extremely well was the means by which you introduced your characters physical appearance. That bit ...

Aww, and I really wanted to look at this poem too! :) Aristotle, we don't allow uploads of powerpoints and we won't see powerpoints either! Try converting it to PDF. ...

I don't really need to critique because I feel the others did a phenomenal job in doing so. I just wanted to tell you how great what you've written is ...

Hey Suchis! Welcome to YWS and what an interesting username that is. Does it have a particular meaning? Well I shall review you today. Overall I felt that story was ...

Hey! Contrary to what everyone else said I think the end line words are all really good except for "pullin." They capture the characters very well. I Definitely think that ...

I really liked it! Truly though it sounds like a really good story. One thing I am currently unsure about is whether it is a romance, fantasy or general because ...

Hey, I will review you today. First off nice story you have here. Seems pretty good so far with a bit of background information. The thing that you had a ...

This is amazing so far. Obviously the story can be broken up into two different parts. The first part being about the dead army and the mysterious raven (Does it ...

Hey! Welcome to the forums shadow! I hope you enjoy yourself. I thought that this piece was like you said a small chunk of something much much larger. I don't ...

Hey, I'm not gonna go over everything I would just like to give you one piece of advice. Work on sentence structure variety. Since I struggle with this as well ...

Hey, I agree with vampire the story does have a lot of potential. The paragraph you've given us is a decent length for what it is, but only wets the ...

Hi, Ok, so I actually took the time and read through the whole thing. I know this seems wierd, but I have a habit of leaving a post if it ...