DarkerSarah

That's funny because I like those first three stanzas least. Do you think it just lost direction after that?

Hahaha. This was just funny enough to make me temporarily forget about syntax and those damned commas. Thus, you are saved from reproach. -Sarah

The story itself is not so bad, but your grammar is atrocious! You need to work on your syntax (sentence structure) and your placement of commas and periods and semi ...

I didn't think the ending was bad. I think it was a bit forced, but the sequals could be very good. And obviously, Libba Bray is not a bad writer ...

Ope, that's it. I'm reading it. ... You did that on purpose, didn't you? *skips off the read Snoink's FREAK* -Sarah

Why the shudder?

I wasn't being negative, really. It was just a thought of mine on the piece.

Sam, I think that the book is going to be a series, which accounts for the "bad ending."

I appreciate the positive comments. It's always nice to hear them! It also encourages me to keep posting more work.

Yes, like Reichieru, I thought it was well written, but I think it lacked point... direction , rather. I liked the first sentence. I thought it was a good (or ...

No, no! Of course I want critisism! I was just being silly, really. Those are really great questions that I know need to be answered. I wrote this for a ...

*jaw drops* Hinton was SIXTEEN?!?!? *seethes with jealousy, too* Wow...I've always loved that book, it's so sad and so real. I even liked the movie (Soda Pop sure was yummy!) ...

I'm not much into YA fiction, but I read a book a little while ago called A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray. It wasn't the most astounding piece ...

Mattie: I agree with you about the opening line. I've wrote and rewrote the beginning of this story a million freaking times, and the one I ended up with best ...

Oooh, I actually like this part better than the first. But I guess that's good, as it means you're moving the story along nicely. But for all it’s appearances Should ...