DancingRain

Done with half of the rewriting of this critique. Does he at least look hot? I'm a little biased about him being hot because I based his description off my ...

Hehe thanks Snoink. I'm making the changes and once I get them all done I'll repost it. It's a bit hard to read all of the critiqe because of little ...

Thanks. I'm making the changes even if it's a little slowly. Thanks for the thorough critique it helped me spot some of the small mistakes I made. Like Cooly and ...

Thanks. I'm going to make the changes. I'm not the best with grammar and when I read ‘The hooded figure moved swiftly with a bag swinging at their side' so ...

I liked it. I'm not good at critiqueing but as far as I can tell I don't see any grammatical errors in it. :)

I agree with Inertia. This story's good and it has alot of potential. I would make the changes that Inertia suggested but that's just my opinion. If you have more ...