Costa

Ooh, this has a very interesting start! Li seems to have a very interesting mind - crazy or not, due to his circumstances - so I'm actually already curious as ...

This has an interesting setting, as it's not often I see stories mixing sci-fi with magical paladins and whatnot. That being said, the whole thing could use a bit of ...

Ho-hum... there isn't much to be said on the story side, as this prologue is rather short. What I can tell is that Jake certainly sounds like a believable teenager, ...

A recruit goes AWOL during war time and is only reassigned without any punishment? Not even a bit of jail time? I don't know if I can buy that but, ...

An interesting start, albeit light on information regarding the main character. I'm certain we'll get more in the next character but we don't even know his name yet. I don't ...

Hrm, I don't quite know what to make of this. It seems like half a story. From what's written, I would argue that it could be made into a first ...

Is Nicholas one of the victims or did he just walk in at the same time? I think that could be made a wee bit clearer. Also, since your narrator ...

Wow, that's quite the dark story. I'll start with the good and say that if this piece is written as social commentary and based on things you've observed/experience, then it ...

Hmm, this is a bit of an odd one. You describe this as "In this story you will understand why you shouldn't judge someone by their flaws." but I don't ...

Off to an interesting, albeit slow start with this one. I'll echo what Rosendorn wrote below about the first two paragraphs as, indeed, they could've used a wee bit of ...

Alright, all caught up now. You seem to have picked up a decent pace over the last parts, especially considering how you're delivering the stories in bite-sized chunks instead of ...

Hey, this was pretty enjoyable. I remember, back in the day, going up to the roof of my house to watch the stars and whatnot, so this poem gave me ...

I always enjoy a bit of political intrigue, so this certainly seems worth keeping an eye on. Do mind your semicolons, however, as you've a tendency to misuse them. Here, ...

Hm, I confess that I never quite gave thought to this since, with age, it just becomes downright natural to let context dictate the way to address people. Not a ...

Hmm, this is a bit on the short side so I can't quite speak much about the story just yet. As others have mentioned, maybe you could add some more ...