A Dancing Eagle (Chapter 1)

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well, this was a pretty exciting start to a story, it isn't the most intense thing I've run into, and there is quite a lot of backstory packed into a relatively short chapter but other than that, this is pretty solid.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I never quite thought I would be in a war. I never liked the idea of killing people, even if its for your country. And I could never hold a gun, I was too shaky. So I wouldn't even be much help. But I was forced to, no matter how much I resisted. At training there was always planes above us. I loved watching them fly past. I was only 18 at the time, most of us were. A couple weeks past, and I wasn't any better at holding or firing a gun, so I was moved on. I was put into a camp where we learned about tanks. I hated tanks. I was then later moved to the tank base. All the tanks were lined up, each with crew. I was moved into Squadron 26. My four crew members were sitting inside smoking, which I thought was pretty dangerous, since we were in a tank. They told me to get to work and I asked what work? And they told me to turn around, and sitting there was the body of their last crew member. He was stabbed multiple times. I had to clean it up, that was my new spot.

Five days later. We still hadn't got to do much, besides clean the tank and smoke. But I didn't smoke, I hated it. My crew members were all twits, always bullying me. But I had enough, I asked to move to another Squadron, but they said Squadron 26 was home. I was stuck here, until I died, or we won the war. After three more days, I had had enough. At night, I snuck out and ran. I didn't know where I was going, I just ran. I think I ran for two days, I was basically dying of thirst, and I was very hungry. I eventually came across another camp, I was praying it wasn't a tank camp. They spotted me, and arrested me. But after three hours they let me go, since they told the tank regiment where I ended up. I had to stay with these people, because the tank regiment didn't want me back. They recruited me, without telling me if I was going in a tank, on foot or air. I was brought to their camp, and the first thing I saw was a runway. I was racing with excitement, I asked if I would be flying, and they said I would be flying as soon as I learn to fly. I saw all the Spitfires and the P-51 Mustangs, I was finally happy.

It only took 1 month and 24 days to learn to fly. I was told that was a little long, but I wasn't a bad pilot. I was told I would be flying a Hawker Hurricane Mk.1, I was hoping I would be able to fly Spitfires, but I was told they were for the best of the best. But I was happy, very happy. I was able to fly a plane. I was a pilot.

Hi OmgRonan!

This is a very cool story. War War 1 or 2 I imagine? Sounds like this story was set up in that time period. Anyway, I enjoyed the narration and the plot itself. I found it fascinating how you described the character's feelings about the war and experiences undergoing training. I really like how the narrator isn't one of those hard, cold-hearted,I've-seen-many-tragedies-on-the-battlefield types or those eager, naive, knuckled-headed types. His character is refreshing and new to me in these types of stories. The one thing I would suggest is that you fix the run-on sentences by replacing the commas with periods in the right spots. Nonetheless, it was a nice read. Good work!

A recruit goes AWOL during war time and is only reassigned without any punishment? Not even a bit of jail time? I don't know if I can buy that but, alright, let's go with it.

WW2 stories aren't all that common around here, much less ones focused on the air force, so this actually hold an interest to me.
Now, I'm withholding judgment on the protagonist since this is only the first chapter but, so far, I find myself getting a bit irked by his attitude (boosted by the fact that he got off scott-free from his shenanigans, mind). Still, he IS a teenager that got drafted, so I can see why he's the way he is.
I'm hoping you'll give us both a name and a description of how he actually looks like, though, as being able to visualize the character helps the reader get engaged. More information about his past would also help, if only to make him more relatable.

Also, since you tagged this as historical fiction, adding more information about the country and state of the war would always be a boon to your story. Going by the planes indicated (Spitfire, Mustang and Hawker Hurricane), I'd wager this is a RAF recruit?

Finally, the pacing seems a wee bit too breakneck for me. If you're doing a story like this, exposing a young man being thrown into the crucible of war, I think you'll want to slow things down. With longer chapters, you'd be able to give a more in-depth look at both the protagonist's view of the events around him and the state of the world/war-front itself.

This story shows good promise, though, so I'm hoping you'll keep at it.

Cheers.