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This is such an interesting piece! One of my personal favorite storylines is that of the dystopic world. I don't know why, I just think it's a fascinating concept. One ...

Welcome to YWS! You have an amazing username. :smt038 Also, I need to point out: according to site rules, you need to review two pieces of work to everyone one ...

I just went and read all three parts of this in a row. This is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful . You write FAR beyond your years and you are going to ...

Yay, here we go! *hugs* Three major things: 1. RULES: According to the rules of this site, you need to review at least two pieces before you post your own ...

Welcome to YWS!! *confetti, hugs* I had this whole nice rewiew on this, and then my computer went kablooey and I lost it all. So here's the shortened version, minus ...

A blue bird flew by them in the sky as they were tanning under the special made lights in the backyard of the Harpers Estate. Special made lights = special-made ...

This is in the wrong place. Go to Writing --> Submit something --> Science fiction, or some category --> Copy and paste your story. Put spaces between the paragraphs. --> ...

Half elf and half human he had the pointed ears of an elf but stood at a normal height and would only live for half a century. There should be ...

Woo! You use the word "static" in three consecutive paragraphs, one per paragraph. It makes the word stand out awkwardly, so change at least one of these words for a ...

This is well-written, and I like how it begins. The boy angrily brushed his sweat drenched black hair aside Sweat drenched = sweat-drenched. Each were large and burly boys, most ...

I only skimmed the other comments, so I'm sorry if I repeat nit-picks. :oops: He was a mythological being who eventually created the wide expanses of the sea that covered ...

Alice finally settled on a bowl of stale, dry Peanut Butter Crunch without milk because the fridge was void of that necessity as well Where's Waldo? I mean Alice... :lol: ...

Present tense! How rare. :D We will all share a little piece of the story, different words, but with the same ending. I do really like this sentence, but it ...

*dancing* I love this piece, I love this piece... You've developed an intriguing, bizarre character. You've chocked the plot full of interesting concepts. He was a strange person...he was the ...

Not enough shapeshifter stories! Bring 'em on. :D That made a second question: Where was I? I don't like this sentence, with a question being "made". I think there's boundless ...