Clo

I agree with BBB. Jared is a sexy name. :wink: This is an amusing story - what an awful place to do that... I hope there is more! It's almost ...

His lips curved perfectly into a smirk you could call it You need to reword this. "a smirk, if you call it that", or "curved perfectly into what may resemble ...

This was exciting to read. You have a good pace and tone, and your descriptions had me going. Ooh, the description of the knife on her neck... made me cringe! ...

It is eleven minutes to midnight Don't underline: italicize. A flash of hot This would sound better as "flash of heat". Summer is a beast. It swallows up my conscious ...

More Grubb! :D I saw a [s]big[/s], torn-down, gross house and [s]I[/s] heard faint barking inside I think "gross" is a bad word to use. How is it gross? Describe! ...

Eek! Sam! I'm helpless to gush at everything you post. You're a prodigy! I throw dancing elephants of admiration at you: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: Ahem. :oops: Anyway... Naoki moaned and ...

I love the intro. Mud wrestling... a pig. Haha. Quite the opening for a superhero story. Chester decided that it would be a good idea to pick up one of ...

I've been meaning to review this, I'm glad it popped up in "Recent Additions" or I might have forgot. :D Forty degrees in the sun. She really should go out. ...

I have such a hard time suggesting any edits on your work. Everything seems so flawless the way it is, I'm so content simply reading it that I feel like ...

I can't resist those puppy eyes. :D The half moon hung in the sky like some great celestial yin-yang Personal taste: I don't really the "some" here. It seems too ...

He was a truly annoying, messed-up little prick back then, a real Negative Nancy. Now, as we both enter our high school senior year, he’s become one intolerable little fuck. ...

Hoorah, more Albert! *dance* I'm curious as to how the faeries know he's been alone in his mind for seven years. Have they been watching him? I love the conversation ...

[s]Everyone is big[/s]. Everyone is tall, all those humans. My suggestion. I love the innocent tone of this. Overall, it's a very nice story. It's a little confusing in some ...

I really like the beginning. "A great day to do this..." What a bizarrely optimisic thought to think about the situation. Makes me love it even more. :) I also ...

Welcome to YWS! :smt039 I'm guessing you're unaware of this but there's this: ONE RULE TO RULE THEM ALL : BEFORE you post a piece of your own, you need ...