Chirantha

Hello again, Castlesinthesky. Good description. And good second chapter. Okay, onto mistakes, she was the only person in my family that I’d seemed to inherit genes from. Change it to ...

Fantastic story, well done. :D And, yep, as everyone says the rain made it more romantic and basically realistic. Please, please, please write about Harry and Ginny. So, I've no ...

Welcome to YWS. Good story, great in fact. Well done. But as BBB says it needs suspense. A plane falling out of the sky into the ocean isn't something that ...

Great story, I can say you had written it really well. Do you do martial arts? You really had described every single movement. Good work. There are no pads, there ...

Wow, now certainly, this is a gripping story. No matter what the others say, I think your characters were great. They were unexpectable. Good names by the way, although the ...

Okay, your story was written well, greatly in fact. But as the others had pointed out you shouldn't write "she everytime. Try to change it. I'll give you an example. ...

The problem with many other stories is that they don't have a very good beggining. Yours was exeptionaly well described and the picture of the story formed in my mind. ...

Much to my disappointment, I haven't read the twilight series yet. Your story was well written and greatly described. And also you had used idioms which brought a great affect ...

A first person story of a guinea pig. Interesting. 1. mistakes, My owner had been to “busy” to feed me. Put it like this, "My owner, Diane had been too ...

This story was well written but it had a tiny lack of description. Okay, see these, "Shut up!" The dragon swung his heavy tail towards his prisoner, barely missing her ...

Let me see, here's what I think.Firstly the knight should have a name.Secondly this story should be in Historical fiction from what I read. Okay, onto mistakes, The Dragon’s Revenge ...

Mystic May reminds me of Prof.Trelawney. Okay, turning it to a comedy would be better.And that will be funny. A chosen one of the elite will come to rid the ...

You had written the story so well, that you can actually hear Jack and Norrington saying the dialogue. You really are the pride of the King’s Navy, aren’t you, son? ...

The story was really short and very little decribed. But it was nevertheless,humorous.see, I died! Oh no! You made it sound like as if you dropped dead everyday. I wish ...

Wow,great story. But you should perhaps keep spaces a little more often.see, I hesitated, the pen hovering over the interactive whiteboard. Which equation was it? What was the point of ...