ChimeraMania

The reason journal, that I am writing to you now The way you have the word journal in this sentence seems as if it should be said like a name ...

My normal workhorses are on loan in somewhere in Asia at this point. Take out the first 'in', it'll be better read. This is really the only mistake I saw ...

Yes that's perfect, perfect. That's where his understanding that he lust for her fits perfectly. I doesn't seemed rushed or unexpected. I half expect him to feel in love first ...

Carlito, again, made all the right points. Make sure you tell/remind us how much time is passing. I didn't see anything over changeable in this chapter. You controlled your usage ...

'tablet and back.' Come on finish the sentence because he can't really look at his back, but he can his backpack . Wow now it seems like twin Analia will ...

Okay seeing as no one had caught this or it may be a newer mistake. 'when she and Verona wen re old enough to' 'when she and Verona were old ...

Okay in chapter seven you said all newbies were blue and coaches wear green. Doesn't that mean that they should all be wearing blue and the Guide be wearing green? ...

Verona’s timepiece had stopped working, so she couldn’t tell, but after what seemed like an hour, the questioning stopped. I read what Carlito said about clarifying this and a good ...

And once life had finally started to get back to normal, her twin, her best friend, had done the stupidest, scariest thing imaginable, and got caught. They this. 'normal her ...

lives?n does she wonder wmove between me and the other Jeweloids. What is that suppose to say?? I begin to come to to reality(??) If I'm correct, and I might ...

You put her eyes (Sammy's) holds mind, you need to change that to mines. I don't know why but this whole chapter kind of throws me off. It's a great, ...

Wow....wow...I don't know what to say besides wow. I can't wait for the next one. I didn't expect to see Maggie in full LAPIS mood, kinda scary. Yet I feel ...

Wow these last few chapters have been a rollercoaster, but this one takes the cake. You go Sammy, wait no no don't shut Cent out. Oh yeah keep thinking that ...

It’s fashioned after the wagons the nomads use as they travel from mountain peak to mountain peak. 'It's fashioned after the wagons the nomads used ' Hmm not much about ...

Okay, wait wait wait. Who is Fetus and when did he and Edon have? Since you're just now really introducing us to Edon, I feel as if the note shouldn't ...