ChernobyllyInclined

This is too long to critique punctuation and grammar so I'll just address problems with the story/characters. Story: First off, there is nothing new or original about this story. The ...

Hmmm...I found this slightly dull. There was nothing new or original/exciting about the story-line. Everyone has heard the 'pretty girl who gets bitten by a vampire' story, and if you ...

The dialogue was uninteresting and repetitive and the characters were flat. There was very little sympathy with Holly and her personality was not very developed or intriguing. I know that ...

Hmmm...This was good, but still not very original. The writing is consistent and the so are the characters but that doesn't subtract from the predictability. The characters, setting and dialogue ...

I do believe I like this. Quite a bit. The fantastic part is that I am not sure why, which adds an unnameable draw to the story. I love the ...

Wow. Fantastic. This stayed completely consistent with the first part. I often find that people get an inspiration but are unable to follow it up. It continues to be sick ...

This was quite intriguing. The writing was very vivid and the story was chilling. I loved the frightening descriptions, every movement and feeling seemed real. "Her grip tightened and I ...

I enjoyed this very much. I tend to grow weary of reading the same story over and over but this was truly unique. It was far from predictable and I ...

I'm confused as to what this has to do with the Apocalypse. I didn't find even this very first part particularly intriguing or grabbing. But I'm not sure exactly what ...

The idea is intriguing. The authenticity of the dialogue is also a plus. I liked the descriptions of the siblings, they were not cliche but they were vivid and grabbing. ...

The writing was good, the story flowed well, and the characters were funny and vivid. The problem was that I felt like I had read it all before. The story-line, ...

Hmmm....The descriptions are a little better, more vivid adjectives. But the character is still flat, emotionless, genderless. He/She does not seem to have any emotion on the fact that he/she ...

I must admit, I was extremely bored by this story. But, to be honest, I would not say that it was the actual story-line that was boring me, only the ...

I loved the beginning. It was extremely vivid and quite beautiful. But I found the end slightly disappointing and irrelevant to what I understood was happening before. Perhaps edit some ...

I liked the description. It was very vivid. But I was slightly perplexed by what was actually going on. When Kimmy is described she doesn't sound very ugly...and yet her ...