CastlesInTheSky

Hey there! I'm Sarah and I'm your reviewer for today. I tend to be a fairly harsh critiquer, but you shouldn't be offended by anything I say: for I only ...

Hi There Kirsten! I just want to say first off- when I correct stuff, it's definitely not beacuse your writing's crap or anything. It's probably because your writing's so amazing ...

It's well, written, but nothing hooks me. Nothing screams out at me to continue reading. You have only a few pages to grab your reader’s attention. When you can hook ...

Hi Alainna! I totally owe you this critique, after your endless perservering with Broken. Erjo, here I am. Nit-picks ^_^ Quote : After that night, things went from normal, to ...

Well, by Demeter's recommendation, I'm going to post my story, "To Run with Wolves," in chapters here on the forum. This will be the second. The story is finished, but ...

Hey there! I'm not going to give you a full grammatical critique because I'm not quite awake and this looks very polished. You're obviously used to writing short stories. I ...

Hey there! :D I'm here, returning the favour. (: "Very funny, Aiden. Now turn it down." There was no arguing when she used that tone; I flicked the volume control. ...

Hi there! I first have to specify - you're not a bad writer, not in the least. You just need to make this original - make it your own. The ...

I really liked this. It was dark, emotional, powerful. You're obviously one for gothic poetry. A few tips: Because gothic poetry is dark and mysterious, it means there can't be ...

I loved this! Your poetry is so beautiful, Xavier. Favourite verse: Your love is like a river, overflowing in the sanctuary of my garden The flowers are becoming all wet ...

If not a bit cheesy, this was a very good poem which has good emotions and ideas. What you need to work one: Use concrete imagery and vivid descriptions. Love, ...

I loved this! :D The last line was very poignant. 'The water is about to overflow. Who will control the weight?' It evoked a very emotional response from me. Gave ...

Why can't I stop thinking about her? Good first line! Draws the reader in. The rhythm of her movements and technique glistens in the light of the moon as the ...

This is, surprisingly, not as cliched as I thought it would be. I saw the title the first time and thought, "Oh, more teenage angst to fill up the forum." ...

Hey there, Xavier! First of all, this was an absolutely beautiful poem. The only reason I'm going to nit-pick is to venture an attempt to be helpful - because there ...