CarlPagan

First of all I'd like to say that I like this story of yours, a lot in fact. It is well written and the concept is quite interesting and could ...

First off, the prologue. As EloquentDragon already pointed out, when you are writing a story in third person you might want to avoid writing the way you would speak. That ...

As someone who has been on the verge of dying a few times, all accident's mind, I could very much relate to most of your protagonist's experiences with death. Obviously, ...

It was a gripping read, high paced and exciting. The kind of thing that tends to hook me on a story and as such I reckon this would be a ...

Firstly, as ArmourDevorant already mentioned, the pacing is good but you are quite heavy on the adjectives and adverbs. Fantasy can be tricky, the genre is famous (or perhaps infamous) ...