Caesar

You disappoint me, my Mentee. I dislike both the introduction, the ending, and the middle bit. Like, I've already previously manifested why I dislike introductions with dialogue -- they're tricky ...

Hey there lalarawrmonster! Overall, this wasn't bad. I'm curious to see more about who the Blessed Children are and what they can do. However, in this chapter, I feel you ...

Hey there Ginara! This wasn't badly written, actually! I don't have much to say about the flow of this, except I suggest you re-read some sentences and add commas, especially ...

Hey there MagnusTerrenum! Cool username, though the latin is incorrect. ;) Now, you could say I liked it. It was very much like Game of Thrones, very much like Game ...

hey sulchan! Overall, I feel that with this chapter, you failed to explain a few key questions. What is this about? Of course I'm not saying the chapter should be ...

...and with that? Let's treat this as a short story, shall we? This has "plot" in the sense it has conflict, because I've read weirder stuff in terms of plot ...

Hey VeniVidiVici. Nice username. But uugh why another Romulus and Remus/Mowgli. Mostly Mowgli. How knowledgeable are you when it comes to wolves? Their behaviors, their habitats, the way they act, ...

Hey TheCountChristian! Right. So, the first four sentences. Is that a kind of prologue? You say what you're doing is like a Storybook, however I don't see the difference between ...

Hey dawg. I might not have mentioned to you before, but I like this. The message delivered in the last stanza is very clear. My favorite is the sixth, though. ...

Hi. You need better ways of pouring out your teen angst than 'short stories'. Or if you do want to do it by writing (actually recommended, it's far better than ...

Hi Twinkle4Ever! You asked me to check this out, so I am here. This won't be very specific or nit-picky in any way, as most things have already been covered ...

Halfmetaaaaaaal You edited the chapter 8D Okay SO. No boring intro here. Good. Very good. You know what could make it better? Paragraphs XD It's far, far too long. An ...

Hi halfmetal! Take the last part of your piece. I smiled thinly. As a fourteen-year-old boy, I would be accepted. In two days, I would be off to war. This ...

Hi Twinkle4Ever! I would want you to consider openings, now. The title is called Beasts of the Dirt, the small description speaks of a girl living with demons, right? That ...

Hey MythWriter99! Sweet, new chapter! I don't have a lot of negative critiques here, actually. I already manifested my opinion of the zombies in the first, and that's my main ...