Boni_Bee

Lipizzaner is a breed of horse....what is wrong with it???!!! :? lol

it's got a good 'beat' to it, and it flows pretty good, although here and there are bits that kind of break it up....but it's good :)

Can someone please crit this???!!! :? :)

Yeah, it's cute :) Short and sweet, and a nice swing to it

Yeah, same as what Katie said. post more!!! :)

Nice!!! Nice and short and sweet....you did this well :) I like the second verse.

The train isn't meant to dissapear, and Sally see's the paper first, then Danial see's the poster, and 10 years have passed since then (scary!) lol I think I'll make ...

this is pretty cool, although a bit confusing with all the changing of characters. post more soon :)

thanks for the critque, it was very helpful :) I fixed it up some...

wow, that's cool! I like it :) It is a very interesting story, and I didn't get bored with it....lol, great story!

Thanks so much!!! :) I can see the problems now, and I'll work on them as soon as I can. I'm glad you like it :)

it's cool! It does need a bit more description, but other than that it's great! :)

very interesting! Not my fave poem, but I think it's a pretty good effort, although the rhyming after the second verse was a bit forced, as a lot of the ...

I think it is better, although the beginning is still a bit too flowery. It's a bit confusing because it's not until the end that you kind of get the ...

Ok, I changed it :)