BigBadBear

Bradsk88, You have a very good start here. I really like it, and most definitely will read the next couple. You have me hooked, my friend. There are some things ...

Jen, You said be harsh, so I will. :) I’ll skip the praises and narrow this critique down to the stuff that you need to change. The ending was, I’m ...

Hey, Pork! "There's no way to stop it. It's unstoppable!" I dunno if this was intentional, but it made me el oh el. "I'm a pretty real-looking puppet, Patty." Every ...

Chapman has a gun, T ucked safely in his coat. >> It's not a rule, but you don't have to have the first letter of every line uppercase. In fact, ...

Angel of Death, I’m sorry that I haven’t had time to finish this. I just wanted to give you my opinion as of now. I’m a little short on time ...

Suzanne, Wonderful story! I really enjoyed it. It was very fun to read, and I really didn’t have much to say in the line-by-line critique I’ve attached. The ending was ...

I prayed that nightmares hadn’t visited her [s]that night[/s]. She tangled her fingers in my hair; the softest whisper of a word escaped her lips[s]…[/s] . I think it was ...

RoryLegend, This part was bloody brilliant! I stand in awe at your magnificence! Someone mentioned this in an earlier critique on another chapter, and they said that this was a ...

RoryLegend, Gah! This chapter was much too short! You have me addicted to this story. XD Yep, it’s that good. Your main problem in this chapter isn’t really the story, ...

RoryLegend, You have a really good start here. I’m liking the storyline so far. Your characters are very believe able, but please be careful. There have been so many Twilight ...

First off, ditch the second paragraph. "Haha, not!" is not working for this piece. The main problem with this is I think the tone needs to be formal. Right now, ...

Hey, Kylan! I'm sorry, I only have time to critique the first scene. I have to get going, but I just wanted to leave my two cents. It was done ...

Sam, You suck. -Jared PS: How come you write so awesomely? You make all of the rest of us writers look terribly lame. I bow before your awesomesauce presence. Ooh! ...

Red apples drop where worms infest happily. Steep corners where witches fly. You say 'where' twice. >.> You already know that I love these poems. They are terrific. -Jared

Well. That was frightening. You had some major comma issues though. The daemon claws, [nix this comma] at the closed door, Gurgling noises escaping from her mouth. I hear her, ...