Bhayden71297

Overall this was pretty good. Especially for being "new" at this, as you said. Your sentences could be combined to give it more flow. Otherwise, you read it choppy, and ...

This piece is simple but deep. The words you used -"innocent, wonderful"- they were so common but you made them do more for the story. You could, if wanted, (cause ...

This piece is actually very good. Well written. Simple and to the point, but tells a good story. It may seem as though short fragments don't hold a lot of ...

I liked the idea of this. Very much. I don't have much to say for this. Your grammar could be looked over. And watch your tenses. You should probably go ...

I really liked this poem because I could relate (unfortunately) very well to it. :/ You've captured all of the emotions and feelings of going through that. It's amazingly worded ...

I like this. It's cute :) Made me laugh at the irony in it. A perfectly normal teacher in a perfectly normal school when all of the sudden..BAM! Here comes ...

I love the depressing, dark, sad stories. They always touch me :) I tried to push him away, but…The car only shattered my arm, but he didn’t make it. You ...

I liked it in general, pieced nicely. What caught me right away was your second sentence. For some reason I stumbled through that. It didn't flow like the rest. His ...

Congrats! This poem flows nicely and tells a story. Don't worry though, in a couple of days you'll be ecstatic! (hopefully) ;) A tear falls from my green eyes, and ...

Be careful about being too descriptive. If you use too many adjectives to descibe one thing, it just makes it sound awkward. Let the reader's mind wander, and see what ...

The short sentences created a dramatic effect. I love simple sentences like that...may be my favorite :) But I agree with the previous comment. SOME sentences could be altered together. ...