BerlynnRae

The Hamster thing I have to say threw me off a little. Also the "GOODBYE" at the end I would change to "Goodbye!" Because it hurts the readers eyes to ...

I loved this piece of yours (although I love most of your pieces ^_^) The voice in this one was very clear. I didn't get it was a boy because ...

I'm only doing chapter one but I'll do the other chapters later: I was interested because "Man down" wasn't in "..". But some grammar, (My friend, and, partner Commander Cody, ...

The first stanza I loved. It begins with a perfect picture in my head of a still night/morning. When the sun is peaking and the night is yawning. Brilliant. The ...

I understand the deep feeling in it. Although the repetition was drawing away from the emotion that this person had regarding the pains of love. Love is indeed worth the ...

The final act! OMG it was so good. I was flipping out the ENTIRE time! That is probably my favorite. This was very creative and fun. I liked how in ...

That was so good! It was different than what I remembered before. I loved how you described the castle I could completely see everything. Some little side note, I found ...

I loved the story I was really interested in how you described the mnt. dew falling on the floor. That was genius pure genius. I think that it would have ...

Well first off I loved how it was in first person. Secondly it was completely smooth, which i loved. I just finished reading another sci-fi on YWS and it went ...

I loved all of it but it started to get confusing at this part: "Kelly! You’re right, it was different with us. But don’t you worry about it; I will ...

I apologize I found this very difficult to read. I did read the original copy before you edited it. One of the first things that caught my attention was how ...

This was so good. I enjoyed the mixed feelings here where he loves a girl and have home life issues where he doesn't want to return home. Though I did ...

Overall I loved it. It was amazing. but there was one thing that threw me off. At the end when the female character was talking to the knight/guard you were ...

ok so i read it and loved it but there was one part that made me confused. "“Oh, you’re home. And you brought food. I guess I don’t need this!” ...

I have to say "bravo!" I though the way you developed character Tim was well done. He seemed smart, strong, loving and over all a good mix of a big ...