BenS

I like how your story flows together. But some of the things were too convenient like the vaccine and the gunpowder. Also it was not obvious what period this took ...

I think you did a good job overall with the story. One thing I would change though is that there are a few things that just worked out too well. ...

I think you did a wonderful job on this story. I like how well you moved into the climax and the story in general. The one thing I did not ...

Please fix some of the grammatical errors.