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Re: Do it
I hate to be this guy, but It's lecture time. Your paragraphs lack a central theme, by that I mean sentences within a paragraph are usually related and a different, ...
Oct 22, 2015 -
Re: Crash
Pretty Decent. Aside from a few spelling mistakes the only criticism I have is on your sentence structure. I'd start the first sentence off with "the car lurched forward, slamming ...
Oct 19, 2015 -
Re: Chapter 1 My first encounter
There's not much criticism I can give that hasn't already been offered. 1) Separate paragraphs 2) The dialogue is decent, but the radio announcement is really bad. Id suggest. "Attention. ...
Oct 19, 2015