Azila

Hi Yeah, I agree with what Skool15 and ShadowTwit said; It is an awesome story, but it needs some more editing. Try reading it through to yourself -- under your ...

Ahh... the elegance of simplicity! I would actually go so far as t say it's a masterpiece. I have a few clarification suggestions (just suggestions, note, take them or leave ...

She used to sit on the porch all morning and all afternoon, even in the winter, when there were no leaves in the trees and only cats strayed the streets. ...

It is kind of short, so I can't give much critique except the line-by-line kind. "The garage shielded us from the cruel July sun. Boredom had left me lacking energy ...

Personally, I liked it quite a lot. Though the plot wasn't particularly original, it was well-written. I think the kind of distant narration gives it an almost journalistic effect, which ...