Ashley602338

This chapter was a little confusing and you had a sentence jump "we there was a voice and we were stopped in our tracks." Overall this chapter was very interesting ...

So I have a few things to add that kind of annoyed me, first you keep saying "Avery said, Avery did. It has way to many Avery's in the chapter ...

First of all I want to say that you shouldn't change your writing just because some of your readers don't like a chapter, a poem or a book. So going ...

I had to stop reading after the third paragraph because I had no reason to keep reading. Paragraph two was fact after fact and it added nothing to the story ...