Arekkusu

Dancers fighting? Hmm, it's an idea that has potential, and it's been well planned, and has good plot. Split up your chapters though. You aren't meant to put your entire ...

Hmm, im the first person to review, am i? I suppose i should be nice, so on with the harsh critique... This needs to be looked through. And don't even ...

Hmmm, this was a good read, but, as i'm sure other people have no doubt told you, it needs punctuation. Capitals, and add in colons and semi-colons. You need to ...

Hmmm. An exceedingly gory and blood curdling read, which is some thing in the description of me. I liked it. It had varying sentance leangths, and was very descriptive. Could ...

Review facts. The warhammer 40 K Rule book will help. Basic Words are in there. Think back to primary school. Punctuation is needed here. Read about the Space Marines, and ...

Wow. A great insight to death's personality. but i think the line "when the dead know peace the mortals cry" should be longer. maybe "when the dead know finally know ...

I brought the metal sliver towards my lips and licked it. I threw it on the ground. “It tastes like shit!” I pushed the metal IV stand down and it ...

I'm Arekkusu, and will be your critical guy for today. straight in... "they treated and bandaged her burnt hand thrice a day." i wouldn't use the thrice part. it makes ...

hey i think the story has a good potential. just explain a bit more about who they are, where the book is and what it is. try to slow the ...

this seems really good and might turn out quite gory- wicked. but try putting more full stops in rather than commas, or it might get too long and people will ...