Areida

Hi Sarah! I think you have potential here, but I never really see anything come of it in this piece. It starts awkwardly, continues in a disjointed way, and then ...

Hey, Jagged. I have to disagree with Navita; I liked this - a lot. I do agree with her, however, that you might reconsider your form. As a short story, ...

Hey Tariq! I'm with Snoink on this one; I feel like you're close to saying something, but you never quite come out and say it. Another thing that really destroyed ...

I agree with Navita! I like the complete ridiculous-ness of the whole thing; its absurdity is what makes it so loveable, but you could definitely up the ante with a ...

Hey kingolions! Not bad at all for a first effort, but try to rephrase so that you don't get trapped into using cliche's. "fall apart inside", "pain I feel inside," ...

Hm. Interesting. I like what you're going for here, but there were a lot of places where I was confused about what was going on. I think vivid, more specific ...

Hi! I'm Areida. I'm 20. I go to college. It's not a very big college. My building where I live has six floors. I live on the third floor. I ...

Hi Jane! I like the start you have here. You don't have to apologize for being gross. Actually, you don't have to apologize for being vulgar or sentimental or sarcastic, ...

Hey Rhiannon! I didn't read your other story, but here are my thoughts on your prologue: The Yay's! - I like the idea you were going for in the first ...

So here's what I like: the speaker gets that they're being screwed over, but they still have feelings for this person. That's cool. It's frustrating when people are blind to ...

I love couplets! I don't know that I've ever seen any on here, so I'm glad you posted these, Aristotle. I agree with Hannah (the only review I read above) ...

Hey there! After your intriguing prologue, I'm back for the first chapter. :D A few nitpicks: The girl of the pair had a dark and exquisite beauty; I found "of ...

I hate you, Omar! You killed all the puppies! :( Seriously, though, this was very well done. I appreciated that you didn't drag on infinitely. It was short and creepy. ...

Hi Nepo! First off, don't apologize for your genre. There's nothing wrong with romance, as long as it's well written. The same goes for any genre; whether it's a horror, ...

Hey Ray! I'm pretty useless at critiquing poetry, so just take my opinion for what it is (mere opinion). I didn't really get anything out of this poem. Typically, even ...