Ardor

Such a sweet, melodic poetry. The words flow elegantly and beautifully. I love the way you have used metaphors throughout. You seem to put a lot of emotion within your ...

By the way you made a typo error ("everythinmg"). In terms of language it is great, but I don't really see much flow. I feel that some of the lines ...

Although it is in the General Articles section, I think it has good potential to actually be a semi-autobiographical novel. I don't know why, but the way it is written ...

God I love this. Are you new to YWS? If so, you sure as hell have a way to introduce yourself. Your use of words and laguage i spot on, ...

"What the frick is Persian blue?" I didn't like this line. I found it a bit forced. I'm sorry to say this, but this is my least favourite chapter. I ...

The words are descriptive. I like your structure and your general pace of the poem. I feel that at times I find myself losing the rhythm a little bit but ...

That was...surreal to say the least. I like the idea you are going for. This may be bollocks to you, but it reminds me so much of Animal Farm. I ...

Whoa. That's all I can say. Although I disagree about the bit talking about how 'God showers us a little bit of humility and gives us wisdom for the future' ...

'Getting up to go to the most wonderful place on Earth, that was sarcasm, I'm to going to school.' That line wasn't really necessary. We know that it is probably ...

Your punctuation is off in the first paragrpah. It seems really strange your piece. Not the idea, but your layout. To me it is random. I am sorry, but I ...

Very well done indeed. For Act 1 it is a good way to start. I like your use of language throughout your piece. However, for an improvement, you may need ...

Hmm. I'm not quite sure about this piece. I mean don't get me wrong, it was well written, but I felt it missed something. Maybe this is because, as this ...

Please finish it. I would love to see where you- oh hang on. It's part of a novel, isn't it? Well, in that case I will read the other chapters ...

NO COMMENTS??!!! That must be a fix, referee! This is simpyl one of the best chapters I have ever read! Animal is by far one of the most ambitious novels ...

You're a newbie? Never would have guessed. That was great. I believe your strongest point is your use of language, and how you articulate words. You have a wide range ...