AquaMarine

Hey there! Sorry it took me so long to get to this - you caught me at a busy time! Alrighty then, nitpicks! I closed my eyes , hoping that ...

Hey there! Ok, so first off this is a short poem. That doesn't necessarily make it bad, it just means that sometimes it can feel a little unfinished. You need ...

Hey there! It took me a little while to get into this, I have to say. Your beginning didn't totally draw me in and was a little confusing. For example, ...

Hey there! Here as requested. Firstly, I see absolutely no puncuation in this piece! None at all. If this was read out loud then youd lose a lot of the ...

Hey there! Firstly, I have to say that I agree with WD about the whole switching POV thing. It is quite confusing for the reader when they aren't fully connected ...

Hey there! Here as requested! Ok, so I didn't review your prologue because I think that everyone who's commented it has pretty much sorted you out. You do have some ...

Wow, Jet. I really should bookmark you or something ... xD. So, this was wonderful. It's original and you don't (well, I didn't) know what was happening until the end. ...

Haha! Oh my jesus Irish this is awesome! I must say, you have a talent in the making fun of movies area xD. Urface: *whipping out her lightsaber and bringing ...

Hey there Mo! Here as requested! Ok, first off I really, really like your poem. It's wonderful. Now that you've edited it, it's even better! One problem I have is ...

Hey Hero! Here as requested. Ok, so I went and had a look at the prologue - amazing! You totally got me hooked. And this chapter follows it up really ...

Hey there! Again, lovely work. I'm enjoying this story! Right then, one thing I would love to see is the twins relationship expanded on. Why do they hate each other? ...

xD It is obviously too early in the morning. I was reading Yoda's recommendations and on this part: Anything by Terry Pratchett Anything by Douglas Adams Anything by P G ...

Hi there! First off, lovely poem. Really nice. I don't think your rhymes were too forced, your rhythm was mostly correct and it portrays your emotions well! One thing, I ...

Hey there! Ok, so apart from most of the things people have said above, I found very little wrong with this. I loved it! Your idea was different and I ...

Hey there! Sorry I'm a little late on this - I see you've already edited it but I'll go over and see if I can add anything. “What are you ...