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Re: Memorial IV: I Cannot Ease Your Pain
Hello Writing Wolf, First of all I'd like to say that I like what you're doing with the Memorial poems. I think it's a good way to work towards writing ...
Jun 17, 2014 -
Re: the ocean waves are never straight
Hello [in old spice voice]~ I think this is a pretty good example of a compartmentalized mind. It does a good job of following the mindset of someone going a ...
Jun 15, 2014 -
Re: "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
Hey, I'd like to start out with saying that I'm not one for the poetical in sentence structure unless it serves a specific purpose. I like my poems to read ...
Jun 15, 2014 -
Re: Letter to Cheng
Hello, My name's Aley and I'm here to help ^^ First off I'd like to say that you did a really good job of hiding the rhyme. There as a ...
Jun 15, 2014 -
Re: Soldiers
Hi LunaClipse, First off I'd like to say that I think you did a good job with the rhymes in this poem. They're there, but they are not overbearing, which ...
Jun 14, 2014 -
Re: Sex and Romance Can Die
I read the description and it said this was an experiment, so I wanted to see if I could pick out what the experiment was. My guess is that you're ...
Jun 12, 2014 -
Re: love does too
Hey Nargles, I took some time reading over this poem both together, and each individual part. The reason being because how I see parenthesis is just a suggestion of another ...
Jun 10, 2014 -
Re: Traveling Sailor
Hello Aurora99 I can imagine this is probably a really slow mellow tone with that haunting sound to it, probably highly instrumental. I can't really think of anything else that ...
Jun 10, 2014 -
Re: To Those Of You Who Helped Me Die
Hello wtppowers, You've got the plot down, that's for sure. I don't really think this is lacking in terms of what's happening in the story. I think you've got a ...
Jun 10, 2014 -
Re: artless
Yo~ You say rip, so I rip. Overall you've got a beautiful way of describing the artwork, but it doesn't really explain much about how the artwork documents the past. ...
Jun 9, 2014 -
Re: The End of All
Hey Unique, I saw you around in the chat so I thought I'd stop by and see what your writing was like. I think you've got a lot of emotion ...
Jun 9, 2014 -
Re: 1
Hello Annaclare, Welcome to YWS! I think you've got some interesting analogies here and with some work, this could be an even more powerful poem. I really think you've got ...
Jun 9, 2014 -
Re: Time would not stop.
Hey retro~ I'm going to start out by saying thank you for writing about something a little more modern for the challenge. I think it was a smart play. I ...
Jun 7, 2014 -
Re: Thunder and Ice
Hi~ After realizing how much repetition you have in this poem, I started to look at it a lot closer to see if there was a pattern or a structure ...
Jun 6, 2014 -
Re: Our Angels and Devils
Hi! Aley here for a quick review. First off I'd like to say that I think some of the ways you talk about this argument, devil vs angel, good vs ...
Jun 6, 2014
