Alainna

YAY!! I really loved this piece JC. I kinda wished that Richard had died though....evil, twisted man.... She watches as nurses came and left, all giving her sympathetic looks. You ...

Wow, I'm a day late and everybody else has pointed out any mistakes/ suggestions. I'm lucky!! You know what JC?? ......... ............ BIG improvement on your last pieces. I loved ...

Hey Lucy. This was good, I liked the description, it made me feel sick, which is the right affect I think. a wish that probably would never happen given that ...

Hey Jules!! This part was really good; although I'm a little confused. Did I crit part 4? Or did you just skip it? Is this the next chapter after 3 ...

I wouldn't say this was iffy, just that Jamie need to react a bit more. *Darn, I really wanted her to slap her mother.....Hehe* A bit all I can suggest. ...

The first paragraph is a let down.....but otherwise this was good. I don't think it's as strong as previous chapters and I feel like we could have had more thoughts ...

More POD!!!! YAY!!! This was good, as usual!!!! I loved the last line, great dramatic ending. It feels a little....dry, these chapters at the party, but hopefully once you move ...

I really got into this piece; always a good sign!!! The coolness of the rain felt good on my bare shoulders as I ran through the large park. My hair ...

Sorry it took so long for me to get round to this!!! Well, most other people have said what this piece really needs so I'll just put a little bit ...

*mutters under breath about length but avoids Lucy's stare...* :D Good stuff, if a little......dry. It's like I said in my last crit....I want more expansion. Also, I'd like more ...

OK, this was good, though still rather short....but I need to stop complaining about that!!! I agree with WC13, your writing is very alluring. However, everything feels a little....spaced out ...

Okey pokey, I kinda agree with Claudette, although I think she has every right to be depressed. This chapter was a little weaker than usual but I liked the part ...

Oh my. I kinda guessed that it wasn't his baby but I never thought that this would happen.... I couldn't find any more comments rather than crit. I really love ...

More Ice Cubes!!!! Argh, Chris is soo flippant. YES, no, yes...argh. And Jamiy is only fourteen??? I thought he was older...... I love you so much it hurts, I look ...

This was good although I noticed a few mistakes. He told her everything, sometimes go so fast she had to ask him to repeat himself. Should be: He told her ...