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Re: Breaking Dawn add on
Hi iCarlyfan, In general I like your piece. It is somehow nice and peaceful. What disturbs me are the references to Bella's strength. As far as I can remember (I ...
Dec 30, 2009 -
Re: "Dream Self" episode 5, part 2
Hi GryphonFledgling, I just finished reading all five episodes in one go. I have no experience in critiquing scripts so I am going say something about the plot and characters ...
Dec 19, 2009 -
Re: shade: curse of the shadows heart
Okay writers pen, Here comes your very long review. Just so this is clear before you read this: I think your idea is good! It is your writing that needs ...
Dec 19, 2009 -
Re: The Silver Light Theory
I agree with fhwdf that your story really does have a funny moral. There are a few points that disturbed me though: 1. Silver-Light is a really odd name if ...
Oct 4, 2009 -
Re: Missing - chapter 4
Thanks for the PM. Feel free to keep sending them. Here are the thing I noticed: I had to go back to part 3 to check and then I saw ...
Jul 19, 2009 -
Re: Luna 2
Thank you for the PM. There is not really much I can criticize here. You did a very good job. I agree with bludragon that the ages are kind of ...
Jul 19, 2009 -
Re: Twilight : The real story
I did not think that this was very funny. 2 reasons: 1) Too much cussing. A overload of cussing is not funny. It is only not very creative. Unless you ...
Jul 12, 2009 -
Re: Missing - chapter 3
Thank you for the PM. Here we go: Each time one of those deadly legs cut my body, I would be reminded of the reason I’d been shot – the ...
Jul 5, 2009 -
Re: The Poet
Okay. Here we go. First: I have got absolutely no idea about what this place is, what the Poet is like and what is going on after having read the ...
Jul 5, 2009 -
Re: Luna 1
Wow. I really like the way it is obvious that she is dreaming although you do not say it until the very end. Everything is so obviously nightmare scenario. It ...
Jul 4, 2009 -
Re: Güte
Okay. I do not want to repeat what everyone else said. You have got a lot of good material to get started. All three parts have brilliant beginnings and endings. ...
Jul 4, 2009 -
Re: Missing (chapter two)
One word: WOW! I really love the atmosphere you created. I can't wait to hear more. Could you PM me when you have got the next part up? What sort ...
Jul 4, 2009 -
Re: Nevada Falls
I liked what you wrote. You worked out the mood very well. I do not know what you do not like about your CW or what you want to change. ...
Jul 3, 2009
