ANate145

Great story! I still like it! I can't think of an error, most likely because I was sucked into te plot!

I looked quickly at my iPod and saw I’d reached the end of the album I’d been listening to. I think this sentence is a bit to long, although I ...

Hey, I really like this! I just finished reading your first one of these! It seems like a great plot!

On that one sentance, try, "The flowers Mum had brought were being clutched next to her chest." I liked it as much as the rest.

Oh I love your writing! I should have you edit my stuff, not the other way around! You're brilliant!

Oh, please PM me whenever you write something!

Wow, this is great, and as has been said, no extreme awkward sentance. I did notice a bit of period lack i.e. "Mrs Bell" should be Mrs. Bell, and things ...

I haven't read the original Artemis Fowl book for a while, but if my memory is correct, Artemis uses a computer to decode the fairy book. Also, just for those ...

Yes, I said that as a compliment. Please don't take it the wrong way! I really liked it. I liked it very very very very very very very very much. ...

Do you want me to continue? Or should I post a rewrite of the story? Just a question.

Thank you for giving me advice. I will try to put this in my writing.

I like it, but as it has been said before, it's kind of repetitive. If you rearanged it, it'd be better

I think this is great! I was thinking of writing a Redwall story myself, but it looks like you could do it about three times better! I am a fan ...