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Re: Chapter 1. Fire & Dark
Wow... Okay that was totaly intense. i think i actually shed a few tears when Justin ran into the flames... i was like "Justin Nooooooo!" other than that i think ...
Sep 14, 2009 -
Re: SHAMAN - Chapter 1
Wow this was amazing *Gives gold star* at first i was like "what?" and then i was like "cool", and then i was like "GOLD STAR BABY!" a lot of ...
Sep 13, 2009 -
Re: Chapter 1 /The invasion
Here as requested. First off you spelled "Favorite" wrong...*Cocks an eyebrow* But don't worry i kept reading regardless. The plot is pretty cool. i'm into aliens too, espicially the ones ...
Aug 23, 2009 -
Re: Venolf War - Chapters 1 - 6
okay...this might sound like a broken record so i'll change it up a bit. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH MARS!!! i'm a really slow reader and i need more time. so ...
Jun 18, 2009 -
Re: Return to the stars-- Chapter one
Okay i'm just going to start off by say..... THIS WAS NOT AS BAD AS YOU THOUGHT IT WAS! i loved it. if only there were a million different ways ...
Jun 11, 2009 -
Re: The Cold Moon [Prolouge]
well, it's not perfect-but it could be! i mean yeah so its a little choppy and there is like no discription whatsoever, but i kind of like the thilling bang ...
Jun 11, 2009 -
Re: The Mysterious Signal
okay, so what is Onia Corp, where is it. who is this person, is it male or female, how old was he/she at the time of the incident, more detail ...
Jun 11, 2009 -
Re: Maxim (Prologue)
well i won't lie to you, it was a little confusing and needs some work. it was really hard to grasp that he was a child, onl seven. i have ...
Jun 11, 2009 -
Re: Preserved
okay, basically you repeated the same thing over and over again...and over and over and over and over. it got a little annoying though. the way you wrote things over ...
Jun 11, 2009 -
Re: Sitting in a Rainbow [1]
it was really good, except you were missing some commas and sometimes the dialogue got a little too FANCY PANTS. FWI, if your audience is teens, add a little tood ...
Jun 10, 2009 -
Re: The Eye of God
i'm not a big fan of poetry, but you really grabbed my attention with [Cascading reams of oceanic foam] in one section there was a uneeded dot. i wanted to ...
Jun 10, 2009 -
Re: Oblivious Chapter One
Hey there, Just a few things i wanted to point out. i don't feel like reading the whole thing over agian, but there were some troublsome nouns and verbs. you ...
Jun 10, 2009
