322sivart

Choppy, but gripping. I'm not crazy about the punctuation you used here, but that's just about all I have to critique you on. It's very deep, and the length and ...

I love a story with two twists at the end, that's really unique. Just a few things I would change: All I could think about was getting away as fast ...

Truly Amazing. You never went to the funeral; lies didn’t deserve your tears, and so you cried at home with the lights off, and the house dark so he couldn’t ...

Excellent! There were only very minor things that I did catch. In the beginning of the story, I take notes for her... er... I did take notes for her. I ...

This was really good. The pace was right, your two main characters were portrayed perfectly, and the story was very vivid. However, once I got to the part where one ...

I like the idea, but I don' know if you wanted this poem to have more of a beat to it. If you did, you might want to make the ...

I hid behind the curtains of the stage. Excellent opening hook! This was very unique and very descriptive for a piece of such short length. All I can say is, ...

I love it! Everything that I've read from this anthology had been great so far, and I have to say that this piece even tops "Dear God". It's very real, ...

Overall, this was great. The MC's feelings were really developed, and the length of the poem is perfect. However, I really don't like how it starts. I wasn't hooked until, ...

I liked it. However, I am a bit confused myself as to who specifically you are indignant towards. Also, perhaps you can contrast this feeling with something else, if you ...

Hi, spy0h. I would give you my opinion of this, but I'm not sure what you want to do with this. Is this the beginnings of a short story, or ...

You and I have the same writing style! I love the opening two paragraphs, and the ending hook of that section is excellent. Society collapsed, and yet: there were survivors. ...

Since I have to log off soon, I was not able to read the entire piece, sorry. However, what I read was EXCELLENT. I can't even begin to tell you ...

Hi jujubean. I'm not that experienced of a writer, but I'm sorry to say that I think that this piece needs some work. I like the feeling of the poem ...

As someone had said before, I think you should expand on this idea, because this was beautifully written. However, there was one part of the story that caught my eye. ...