2Write4ALLways

Alright, so I changed a lot and made it all rhyme, and I edited some verses to make them clearer. I aslo added in a couple new stanzas which I ...

This is really excellent. You have great word choice, and a great story. I cant wait to see more.

Yes, i see what your getting at. But it left me feeling a little confused. A little refinement could make this a great piece though!

When I wrote in the beginning that the water was only ankle deep, and the MC imagined their bodies in the water, I hoped it created the picture that they ...

I edited a little and changed a few things...hope the additions are ok. Let me know if anything else should be changed, and I love to read feedback on what ...

I loved it. I thought it was excellent, and it is a wonderful way to capture the feelings of losing a loved one. Its absolutely great. Very powerful

Great choice of words. Good work. I really felt it, and the posts above state it very well. Its a nice piece.