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Wow, this was very good. I liked how you used a more traditional, older tone. In fact, the style and the wording kind of reminded me of Emily Dickinson. But ...

Hello, I'm Sunny. :) Welcome to YWS. I have three points to share with you. First of all, I am afraid I have to agree with both Lena and anime-girl: ...

Hello! I'm Sunny, and I shall be your reviewer today. First of all, I'd like to say the simplicity, the emotion in this poem is stunning. I really love it. ...

Hey, Kat. :) It seems like most of the errors have been addressed. I would just stress the importance that you Not Capitalize The Beginning of Every Word, because it ...

Hello, Dreamy! I am Sunny, and I shall be your reviewer today. Or tonight. Or whenever it is for you right now. :) I remember A time so many years ...

Hi, Skittles! I'm Sunny, and I shall be your reviewer today. :) The sky is no longer a light blue anymore, no longer filled with the infamous (This is used ...

Hey, asxz! I shall be your reviewer this afternoon . . . or evening or morning or whatever time it is for you right now. Well, never mind. So, here's ...

Hey, Ash! Yay, some new stuff! By the way, I totally vote Already Gone . Don't know why, but Long Shot doesn't do much for me. I'm serious when I ...

Hi, SummerMarie! I'm Sunny, and I shall be your reviewer today. The motel was stuffy. (Bring this line up.) It was run down, [s]it was[/s] a shabby set of walls ...

Hey, defendthelegend! I'm back to review the first chapter. :) “Back from school already?” my mum [s]questioned[/s] questions me with suspicion. “I am always home this early,” I shout[s]ed[/s]

Hey, Moonstar! I'm Sunny, and I shall be your reviewer today. :) I took a deep breath. The air was humid so that breath ing didn't really help, it just ...

Hey, fragile_heart! I have to say that I really liked this. Your writing was in no way cliche or usual, and this str=ory was so sad, it tugged at my ...

Hello, defendthelegend! I'm Sunny, and I shall be your reviewer today. :D Lies Prologue Sometimes I tell lies, and sometimes I only tell stories, but never with intent to harm. ...

Hi, MiriamHannah! I'm Sunny, and I shall review this for you today. :) The black Scorpion Darkness is a [s]weird[/s] strange thing. ("Weird" doesn't fit in with the rest of ...

Basically, I agree with every word Sela said. Your writing is great, you have good description and pacing, and it flows very well. But your characters are . . . ...