Published January 1, 2010
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141,301 Literary Works • 674,336 Reviews
Well you certainly paint a picture. Also, most of the writing is actually true, so I was quite pleased with your work here. Way to go, and keep writing!
Whoa.
Your poem is probably everything I've been trying to do in my poems, like trying to get an idea out that makes sense in an elegant way or actually writing a good poem.
This was my favorite part:
This was a great poem and caught my attention easily. It was the perfect length too. I cannot wait until you write another poem!
Great Work!
MJ
Wow, this was very good. I liked how you used a more traditional, older tone. In fact, the style and the wording kind of reminded me of Emily Dickinson. But I also love the message. I think my favorite part is the very beginning:
The flow is so smooth and the words are simple and enticing. I commend you, good work and keep it up!
~Sunny
This was just lovely, and there is nothing I can really see to crit, which is really great.
I'm curious, though, why you used contractions for "see it," "in it," and "over." I think it flows just fine with the regular forms, and the contractions are visually a bit jarring because they're not used very often.
Other than that little nitpick, this poem was wonderful. My favorite bit would have to be this:
I really like how you described the overuse of speech as eroding at ears. I find it very apt.
very nice job on this poem, I rather liked it :) The first line is lovely, it reminds me of Shakespeare's use of the word "stuff", which ordinarily is a word that sounds childish and vague, but in this case sounds very nice. I also just like the whole idea of the poem, because I've thought a lot about how thoughts are so vague and kind of useless when they just sit there in your head. I like this bit:
and this bit:
so true, that quote.
Anyways, overall I thought this poem was wonderfully written and of perfect length, not too long, not too short. Thanks for the good read :)