*coco

Attolia and Canislupis have beat me to it again! I have to agree this is so much better than chapter 2, I really feel like you've got your MC back, ...

Hey, kr1117, coco here! I'll probably come back and give a proper review later on but right now my advice would be to break this up into paragraphs, it will ...

Hi Skutter11, Coco here! Hmm, I have to agree with Silentpages, this is interesting but there seems to be something missing, I can't quite put my finger on it myself. ...

Well it seems Canislups and Attolia have said it all. Like I said in my review of your first chapter I do like this story but similar problems that occurred ...

Hey ofir! Coco here, hoping to help with a review. Here goes... So I like this but I think that there are a few things that could be worked on: ...

Hey ultraviolet! Coco here, I really like this for a number of reasons. One, your narrative is really well done, simple but revealing of your MC's personality which I love ...

Hi Joe, Coco here! What can I say, this is absolutely AWSOME! Honestly, I could find nothing I didn't like. Each sentence, each paragraph just drew me in completely. I ...

Hi, I'm coco, I'll be reviewing you today :D What I like about this is the idea, although it has been done before you seem to have an interesting take ...

The title intrigued me, I love it! This definitely has an assassin's creed vibe to it but without the arrogant al-tair. I'm liking Dracon, he's the typically obedient young assassin ...

Hi Lydia! I'm not the best critique but I'll try my hardest! [takes a deep breath] You certainly built up tension well, I think the short sentences were a good ...

I really love this, it's brilliant. You write with such confidence, I can totally relate to your character because his emotions are so real and so true. The only problem ...

I know how you feel, not getting reviews can really bring you down and put you off writing. I think the problem with your story is not much is going ...

WOW! Umm, you really need to break your paragraphs up, especially the first one. When opening up a story you must be as gentle as possible in both your content ...

Hey! You always give me such great reviews, I hope mine will be too :D Firstly, I just wanna say OMG, because I was so totally gonna do a story ...

I really enjoyed reading this, you have incredible writing skills that I was hooked from the very first sentence. I envy how easily you seem to be able to describe ...