Young Writers Society

Telling instead of showing is one of the most common things I see wrong in stories. But what does showing and telling mean?

Telling - Should not be used in many cases. Telling is like forgetting your teddy bear at home on show and tell day and describing him to the class instead. Adverbs are commonly placed under the 'Telling' category and that is why they should be used sparingly and only when necessary.

Examples: She was furious. The teddy bear was fuzzy. I walked slowly.

There are times when telling should be used, such as a point in the story when you want to skim over a time and just offer a summary of what happened.

Showing - Should be used most of the time. Showing is like bringing your teddy bear to school the next week and showing everyone what you meant.

Examples: She glared at him, fists clenched, like she wished she could shoot flames from her eyeballs. The teddy bear was covered in a layer of soft, fuzzy velvet. I dragged my feet in the sand as I walked, in no hurry to be home.

See how much more interesting those sentences are then the previous ones? They say so much more and they show the reader what you mean, instead of just straight-out telling them.

Telling can also be used as flash-backs and for bits of punch. Check out the difference between these two sentences:

Example one: The life slowly slipped from his form. His limbs cooled; his chest froze. He closed his eyes, and breathed a final breath.

Example two: He died.

Example one fits in a poetic story (and is showing), but if you want to catch readers in the gut, tell them he died (telling, as I mentioned). No extra words, no sparing of feelings. And, if "he died" came after a long hunt for the character, it would be heart-wrenching indeed.

Check out Robin by Conrad Rice to see what I'm talking about. It's a beautiful story, heart-wrenching, and it's mostly telling. There isn't much implied from "showing" descriptions; we're told almost everything about the MC. Another story that's mostly telling is Sumi H. Inkblot's "Your Coat of Arms is the Lion." It's told mostly in flashback and is very well executed.

Telling can also be used for those little details you don't want to spend a scene on, which would slow the story down. If your plot is about the MC finding a dragon egg and she's a bit of an outcast, don't spend a bunch of time showing how much of an outcast she is unless it's vital to the plot. Usually, telling us and then showing how she gets over it is enough.

There are also "telling details" which can be used to get bigger meaning. Like, if your MC is trapped in a bad relationship, describe everything about the relationship as negative or prison-like (For example, if he grabs her hand, say it felt like a shackle). As the mood changes, so do the telling details. Maybe she breaks free, or maybe she doesn't. This article talks a bit more about that.

~Rosey

Or like this.

Tell: He was a good swordfighter.

Show: He hacked and slashed at his three opponents, his sword ramming against theirs with loud metallic warcries. He danced past two of them and slashed across their backs before they could turn to face him. His sword buried itself in his final opponents neck.

Don't you see? The telling one is BORING, and the showing one is AWESOME.

Telling and showing can also relate to info dumping which a lot of writers do on this site, and it can get unpleasant to read. When you tell, a lot of that can happen.

When you tell descriptions, people bombard it on in one paragraph, maybe the main character is standing infront of the mirror looking at her/himself or looking at another character in the story. A lot of the times, those descriptions turn out like 'Sandy had blonde hair and blue eyes, her fine lips were curled into a smile as she examined her clothes.' It works if you use the right decription but I would rather see people use another strategy.

That other strategy I find is great to use to get desrciptions in without info dumping. You also have to be careful or else you will get too descriptive and people may not find it as enjoyable. But the stragtegy is to add simple details here and there while they do some sort of action. That way the readers subconciously pick up the pieces of what the characters look like and it fits together like a puzzle without have to be directly told.

For example of this;
'The man looked down on me arrogantly, his blonde undulating hair curling around his face like a golden halo, his deep-set blue eyes seemingly locked in mine. He reached out his arm, the blue velvet sleeve seeming striking in the candescent light, and he grabbed the crystal wine glass off of the table.'

From that you can actually pick out that the man has blonde curl hair, and deep set blue eyes and is wearing clothing made out of blue velvet. It is indirectly telling you what the character looks like without totally infor dumping. You got all that out of just one simple action.

~Incognito

To expand on Incog's example:

'The man looked down on me arrogantly, his blonde undulating hair curling around his face like a golden halo, his deep-set blue eyes seemingly locked in mine. He reached out his arm, the blue velvet sleeve seeming striking in the candescent light, and he grabbed the crystal wine glass off of the table.'

This also works because you get some of his personality. "Golden Halo" can mean he's more angelic, and just about all the details in here puts him as handsome, a noble, and maybe a bit more sinister than he seems (Compare "looked down on me arrogantly" with "golden halo").

A tip I read in a writing book is to avoid telling the emotions, instead telling what they feel. And using adverbs. Example?

Selina sat down woefully

vs.

Selina trembled as she sat down, thinking about the argument she had just had with Julia. She knew that everything could have gone wrong, but she was so sure that the fight would end with a compromise.

It's easier to feel like you're in the story if you know why someone is feeling some way.