ALIRICIA
I stopped walking and stared at the ground. Well, more or less Dimitri's feet so close to mine, but whatever. "Well. First I was thinking that Charlie and Koda are going to get themselves killed. Secondly, if they do get themselves killed it's my fault."
"How so?"
I sighed. "Because I was being my same old stupid Ali self and took charge. Which makes everybody my responsability and I let them slip out." I almost stopped caring about Koda and Charlie again. I just wanted to stay here.
"There's more than that, I know it." I didn't look up to see his expression. I just stared at the ground without expression and bit my lip.
"Fine. You want to know the full truth? You really, really sure you want to know the truth?" I was only saying this to mess with him. I'd tell him the truth about me in a heartbeat.
"The full truth would be nice yes." I could feel him staring at me, but I didn't dare look up. I was blushing and I didn't know why.
"Well, first thing first. I am a hopeless romantic with no hope of every having anybody love me-" I wasn't done, but he cut me off anyways.
"And why not?" Did he sound offended? I couldn't be sure. I was jumping to conclusions likee mad today.
"Because I'm unlovable. We've been over that much. I repell people. I don't know if it's because I'm too complicated or just a spaz in general..." I paused and kicked at a small stone. "People just can't handle me I guess. I'm used to it." I shrugged. It was how I lived, what I breathed. I wanted some things that were out of reach, but I wasn't going to change who I was to get them. "Oh, and did I fail to mention my dreams?" I grinned. Now those were quite the things.
"Dreams?"
I finally gathered the guts to look Dimitri in the eyes. I was still grinning that famous 'Crazy-Ali' grin. "They're bizarre. A place where I'm actually loved. I don't know who he is, but he's there. It's strange...It's almost like I'm reading a book. I just start where I left off. I've actually got them written down." I pulled the book from a pocket under my cloak. "Actually, I have one more that I need to write down..." I leaned on a tree trunk, watching Dimitri's expression carefully. I had probably just talked him to death.
