Would you check out my story please?

If you could read some of the chapters that I've written so far, and lemme know what you think and how I can improve it. I'd be very grateful.

The story is Vermilion tide, chapters 1-4.

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Chap 1 - topic35033.html
Chap 2 - topic35033.html
Chap 3 - topic35579.html
Chap 4 - topic37920.html

Hey!

You might find that the best way to get reviews is to write some yourself and put a little link at the bottom and ask the author to take a look. You could even post in the "Will Review For Food" forum.