Crushed

18 posts1, 2
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October Girl
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 203
Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:03 pm
October Girl says... · Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:03 pm
Well, I did like this poem.... but I do think you could have added a little more.... Maybe you could tell us what you like about him... Maybe this could exstend into a short story... Maybe? No, just a thought.
We're meant to be one
I know we are...
If I am the Sky
Then you are my star... ™
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Doctor Kitty
Gender None specified
Points 6040
Reviews 142
Wed Jan 02, 2008 1:46 am
Doctor Kitty says... · Wed Jan 02, 2008 1:46 am
This feels very "teenage melodrama."

I suggest putting some more meat on its bones.
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Gwenevire
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 441
Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:24 am
Gwenevire says... · Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:24 am
Your right. I will get around to it... Someday. When I feel it! Ya knows?
Thank you! :)
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18 posts1, 2


I love her dearly, but I can’t live with her for a day without feeling my whole life is wasting away.
— Miss Kenton, The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro