Two Holes and a Heavier Chest

(Note: This is my 1st attempt at what I hope will become a slam poem. The spacing is weird because it's written to be read aloud with pauses and emphasis on certain words.)

Now I don’t know much about anything at all

but I can recognize a bad feeling when it sneaks past
my ribcage and infects my gut.
I can identify hurtful words and tactless intentions
when they fall flat before my face
and obstruct the view I once knew as a little girl.
A little girl with grass-stained knees and a set of
dreams so solid that not
a bomb
a bruise
a broken heart
or a bit of fiction (in the form of a sexist opinion)
Could break them.
I used to want to be the President.
Then I was hit with a dose of reality defined as (a)
Growing Up.
I went to the bathroom one day and found two extra
holes that would prevent me from Presidency.
Two extra holes wedged in between a difference
That makes me different in a dire way.

Now I don’t know much about anything at all

But two holes and a heavier chest shouldn’t define the
word success
And
If this combination is supposed to mean dinner on the
table by 6PM
Followed by where the fucks the milk and a thank you
that’s left unsaid
I must be mistaken
because I can’t fry an egg to save my life
and if we’re talking about bacon I’m bringing it home.

Now I don’t know much about anything at all

But I have a heart the size of a fist with a capacity
to endure the pain of
PMS
Pregnancy
and three miles in a pair of pumps.
And if that doesn’t qualify as over-qualified I’m
confused.
I can write
and read
and think
and dream
And I can sell more products than Mscintosh
If I simply take off my shirt and smile at the camera
Because society said women and sex are
indistinguishable
And society said if I dare to feel anything other than
bad after an innocent act of passion
I’m a slut
I’m a whore
I’m two holes and a slightly heavier chest
Although I’ve got A’s and we all know what society
said about A’s:
They don’t go well with string bikinis.

So please excuse me because
The President can’t find the fucking milk and he
really needs a blowjob
Which is my job.
I used to want to BE the President.
Until I was hit with a dose of reality defined as (a)
Growing Up.

Now I don’t know much about anything at all

but I can recognize a lie when it sneaks past my
ribcage and infects my gut
And society’s told quite a few.

Hehe, I love your poetry. <3

It starts strong and ends strong, but the middle is kind of mushy. Get more concise... you don't not know... you KNOW. So don't be ashamed of that and say it strongly.

Thank you so much! I'm going to work on editing this one..

This had some serious crunch. I really have nothing to say except that I really enjoyed this, and I wish more people could express this sort of thing freely without attempting to pretty up what is essentially an ugly situation. Also, kudos for injecting beauty into this, whether intentional or not. Beauty in perspective, and ideals.

Excellent beginning! You have something really strong in the works here.

Two things:

First, I was confused about which two holes you are referencing. I'm assuming you mean the mouth and the vagina, but that was kind of unclear to me. I would recommend (as did Snoinky) that you go back through and really look at what you're trying to say. Don't let yourself get muddy.

Secondly, please don't fall into the trap of 'stylizing' your rhythms because "that's what slam poetry sounds like." I'm certain you read beautifully, just be careful not to lose what is great poetry in the muck of the popular styles of slamming.

(Check out Karen Finley, if you don't know her. She's amazing, the first to do what she did. Absolutely wonderful. http://youtube.com/watch?v=rxWD_LZ1aRo)

Wow. That definitely packs quite a punch.

I love the voice here, and your rhythm really picks up from the second stanza onwards. It's great to see such an important message put so forcefully! I can't really comment on the slam poetry side of things because I have no idea of the conventions etc., but I will say I agree with Snoink et al; there are some parts that could use a little bit of tightening up to make the poem tidier. I especially think the first stanza could use some work. Oh, and I think "Mcintosh" is supposed to be "Macintosh"? But I'm not sure :s

Anyway, overall an awesome poem. Keep up the good work!

Cheers,
~bubbles