Wisteria’s Wistful Woodland

human

Today's Inspiration:

Spoiler

Today's song was Savior by OneRepublic. I rolled a refrain and album title.

it was the first time i saw you in weeks
your lips pressed together in a thin line
you pinched my love handles
i'm only human
i thought with tears in my eyes
but i only agreed with you
i'm only human
i can't fight you
you asked why i was so upset
i'm only human
so i hid them from you
scared of those fiery eyes
i'm only human
i'm not strong
if you drop me
i'll shatter

Suffer

Today's Inspiration:

Spoiler

Today's song was Turtleneck by The National. I rolled a spoken word and song title.

I sit here longing for winter. Holding my blankets, ready to use them. Dreaming of hot cocoa and snow on the mountains. I want to bundle up again. Turtlenecks and beanies and snowboots and furry hoods.

But I look back on all memories of winter and I find only bitterness. Cursing the way my fingers were locked in place. Hating the way beanies felt against my skin. Always peeling off layers in class and putting them on after. I see misery.

So I sit here as I sweat and swelter and wish for cooler weather. I realize no matter if I get what I wish for, I'll always suffer.

This poem is no longer available.

Playing the Fool

Today's Inspiration:

Spoiler

Today's song was Fool for Love by Lord Huron. I rolled a free verse incorporating the song title.

You stroke my hair
as I lay on the table
(chest is covered in wounds
my mouth tastes like copper)
and I nuzzle into your hand
as you coo your soft nothings to me
(promises you'll let me go if i'm good
but i'm never good enough for you)
and I lap them all up
like a dog does iced water
(it's the closest thing to balm for my bruises
or bandages for my slashes)
What can I say?
I'm a fool for love
(and i'm scared of you)

love, at least

Today's Inspiration:

Spoiler

Today's song was Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men. I rolled a rhyming and refrain and the author's choice. I was inspired by the lyrics, "We used to play outside when we were young/And full of life and full of love."

this life we don't know the meaning of
comes in goes and waves
at least we got a chance to love

i wanted to marry you when we were young
but we can't control the decades
this life we don't know the meaning of

we moved in together for what
i thought this time, you could behave
at least we got the chance to love

you bit my lip until you tasted blood
and then you cast me away
this life we don't know the meaning of

you were always my smoking gun
but i still chased you all those days
at least we got the chance to love

at least you taught me how to run
and it's that lesson that stays
this life we don't know the meaning of
at least we got the chance to love

Mind over What Matters

Today's Inspiration:

Spoiler

Today's song was Crystalize by Young the Giant. I rolled the author's choice and incorporating the album title.

You haven't texted me for over a week. You cut our day early because you said you felt sick, but then you went home to your "never-do-wrong" daughter and your new dating partner. I wasn't upset. I couldn't blame you.
````
When you said you had to talk to me before you left after dropping off my car in secrecy, I rushed to get ready for you. I fussed over my curls to make sure you would like them and prove I didn't have to diffuse them for you. I rushed out of the bathroom and you told me I was eating too much.

You told me I was eating too much and then you left.

I sat on the sofa, listening to your rant about how I'm lazy and 1need to eat a salad every day for lunch and leftovers were too much for someone so lazy. You picked up I wasn't feeling alright and pressed the issue, demanding me to tell you why I seemed upset.

I didn't say. I couldn't say it without blowing a fuse. Every time you talk to me, it's only to criticize me. You're never proud of what I've accomplished. You never care about what I care about. You're losing weight with a drug that makes you eat a handful of nuts a day.

So I sit there, reassuring you, until you're tired of asking.

"It's mind over matter," you say. Mind over matter.

I bite back the urge to tell you I'm trying. I bite back the urge to tell you that getting out of bed seems almost impossible. I bite back to urge to tell you I'm mentally ill, Mother, so excuse me if I act ill.

I watch you leave with a sweet-n-low smile and say goodbye. I hate my body in my moment: the way my thighs jiggle, the way my hips burst over my shorts, the way my stomach makes most shorts a crop top. But I hate you even more for telling me that's the right way to think.

Countdown to Hope

Today's Inspiration:

Spoiler

Today's song was Spiderhead by Cage the Elephant. I rolled a refrain based on a lyric.

Five things you can see:
A chore reward chart on the fridge,
a dryer full of clean clothes,
three dishes in the drying rack,
my nails freshly cut,
and a fresh start

Four things you can touch:
My favorite hoodie,
the softest blanket I've ever touched,
warm cocoa on my lips,
and the pieces coming together

Three things you can hear:
The gentle purr of the heater,
the soft hum of too-early holiday radio,
and hope singing to me

Two things you can smell:
Cinnamon and nutmeg mix
and the future seeping in.

One thing you believe:
That everything will be alright.

Smoke, Mirrors, Waiting

Today's Inspiration:

Spoiler

Wow, it's been a while! Things ended up happening, so the goal of one year didn't quite happen. But, we can always start again. I reached 140 days of poetry! So now it's time to beat that. So welcome to our new day one. Today's song is Beacon by Two Door Cinema Club. I rolled a refrain and author's choice, so I took inspiration from the lyric "Wait for something more."

i pretend this is enough:
numbing the annoyance of waiting
and waiting
for those elusive "better days"

like the sun rises,
i pretend this is enough,
that better days will fall into my lap
and that's all i'll need to catch them

i lick the edge of the paper
and smoke "maybe one day" like a blunt
and i pretend this is enough
like a magician falling for their own smoke

nothing changes
if nothing changes
but the new day comes
and i pretend this is enough

Incorrigible You

Today's Inspiration:

Spoiler

Today's song is Paralysis by Young the Giant. I rolled free verse and the song's theme

Tell me how to kneel at the foot of your bed,
like a doll or a toy or
all of the things I ask you to call me
to separate me from this moment.
You call me your little girl
and we both know now you weren't pretending.

Artificial cherry lollipops
and skin-flavored cherries
and a teenager who just wanted to feel loved.
Isn't that the recipe for something so depraved
so artfully distasteful
that we're just art in a different way.
Like when Michelangelo painted Moses naked
except this isn't something you can fix with
a paintbrush or primer.
You can't sand down the way you've
frac
tured
me.

Tell me honestly,
was it worth it?
Did we say what we were in enough pretty ways
for the bile to settle?
Because I still feel sick when I think of you
and don't immediately find a reason to laugh.
Because it's easy to make fun of you,
to mock you,
to call of the little belittling things that make me feel like
the bigger person.
But it's hard to actually come to terms with everything,
with you.